


Allergies

by TimeTravelingPirate



Series: You Can Never Escape Your Demons [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Allergies, Angst, M/M, Mention of Tarsus IV, Nightmares, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Shore Leave, Slight McSpirk, Spock and Jim Flirting, alien drugs, fluff maybe, mention of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2018-10-08 11:45:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10385943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimeTravelingPirate/pseuds/TimeTravelingPirate
Summary: Jim suffers from a lot of allergies. Maybe too many to be humanly possible. How does he cope?





	1. Pollen

**Author's Note:**

> I went through my google docs and found a bunch of fics I've been working on at some point or another. So, thought I'd finally post them. Enjoy! Comments and thoughts are always welcome. This isn't beta-ed. So sorry for typos and stuff.

The planet was lush and full of botanical life. Jim had to admit, it was quite a sight to see. He let out a low whistle as he did a 360, taking in all of the sights. “Glad you came on this away mission, Sulu?” Jim asked, a wide smile on his features as the small team of five, comprised of the Captain, Spock, Sulu, and two ensigns who were apart of a science team walked around the surface.

“You bet your ass, Captain.” The man said happily as tricorders came out and began their gentle hum, the only noise to break their otherwise peaceful environment. Yes, this was certainly a sight to behold.

Jim found himself wandering deeper into the fold of the multi colored flowers and shrubs and trees. It was almost like stepping into the pages of a Dr. Seuss book. There was nothing to fear on this planet, the ship having already scanned the surface for anything that might be harmful to human or Vulcan lifeforms. Nothing. That was a relief because, normally, without fail, something disastrous always seem to befall the crew of the Enterprise.

It was quite suddenly that Kirk found that he was alone in the gardens, having wandered down a side trail. His head whipped to the left when he caught the thumping of feet and the dark head of hair from one of the ensigns as she came pushing through the flowers and stumbled slightly, landing herself in the arms of her captain. The pair stumbled slightly, Jim finding himself pushed against the warm embrace of an exotic flower. A laugh tumbled from his lips. “Easy there, ensign. You okay there?”

Bright crimson flushed her cheeks as she looked up. “Sorry Captain. I lost my footing.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He flashed her a brilliant smile as he dusted himself off, hoping that no pollen was stuck his uniform or skin as they continued on their way, examining the planet size botanical garden.

xXx

After several hours of planetary readings, exploration and data collecting, the away team deemed their mission closed and all five beamed back to the ship in high spirits. Spock was pleased with his findings and notified the captain, who gave his First Officer a wide smile, that he would begin working on the collected data right away. Finding himself with nothing better to do, Jim went to his quarters so he could change into athletic clothing and head to the gym.

His work out was rigorous and it felt good. Kirk released all the built up tension that had been growing since the start of the week. He let his thoughts fall away, his mind focusing solely on punching and kick the bag. There was no reason to think about missions or to think about Starfleet. All that mattered was him and the punching bag.

Jim’s muscles bunched and coiled and released as he threw punch of after punch and kick after kick. Sweat began to pour down his taut frame. Breath was coming in deep gasps as he exerted copious amounts of energy. Kirk was in mid swing when he let his arm fall and a free hand to come and rub against his chest. He had been too focused on his routine and breathing that he missed the sudden shift in his gasping for air. This was not simply lack of oxygen due to working out, this was something much, much worse.

Blue hues grew wide at the sudden realisation as the world began to spin and he leaned against the bag. It did nothing to support his weight as Jim frantically began looking around for anyone else who might be in the gym. It was empty. People were either still on shift or dining. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. He was in trouble.

On wobbly legs, Jim tried to make it back to the locker rooms where his communicator would be. He needed to get a hold of Bones or someone because he was having an allergic reaction to…something. Jim wasn’t sure as he tried to focus his mind on the things he had eaten and come into contact with. Nothing was out of the ordinary. He had double checked just like he always did to make sure he did not consume or touch anything that would have an adverse reaction to him. So why the hell was he having an allergic reaction?

Legs gave way as the male crumpled to the floor. His lungs burned for air and his skin was on fire as his throat began closing up. Blue hues grew wide as panic began to set in. No. No. No. He couldn’t panic. He had to remain calm or else it would just lead to the inevitable.

There was a communications terminal on the far wall. If he could just reach it and com Bones, all would be well. The only problem was actually getting to it, while on the floor, gasping for breath.

Jim wasted no time on speaking to himself as he began to army crawl to the com center. Sweat was slick across every inch of his body, making it difficult for him to find purchase on the floor mats. His eyes began to water and his head began to pound. He needed air, he needed to breathe.

Black spots began to speckle his vision. He was going to pass out soon.

Gotta keep it together. Gotta reach for the com.

Shakily, using the wall for support, Jim struggled to push the one simple button that would give him access to Bones.

Click.

“Kirk to Medbay.” His voice rasped, hardly above a whisper.

Frantically, a male's voice answered in return. “Jim? Jim is that you?”

“Help.” He finally managed to say before slipping back down the wall. His ears became clouded and all sound was lost. Jim was unsure if Bones had heard his message or not. All he could do was stare off vacantly and hope that someone would come get him before he died.

Just keep breathing. Just keep breathing.

xXx

It was with a sudden start that Jim sat bolt upright and gasped for precious air. He could breathe. Holy shit he could breathe.

Within an instant a solid hand was pressed on his shoulder and chest.

“Jim. Relax, you’re fine. You’re fine. Take it easy.” Bones voice worked to knock through the sudden rush of wind and air that was fighting to get inside Jim’s body. 

The momentary panic that had flared up was starting to ebb away as Jim looked at where he was. Medbay. He’d made it. Bones had found him. Thank God. In relief Kirk slumped back into the pillow and worked to control his breathing, chest rising and falling heavily.

“You okay now?” Bonse asked, lines of worry etched in his aging face.

“Yes.” Jim whispered, eyes still shut as he allowed himself to listen to the steady rhythm of his breathing. 

“What happened?” Kirk asked, finally revealing blue hues to look at Bones.

“Well, turns out we found something else you are allergic to.”

“Huh.”

“I guess some of the pollen from one of the plants got into your system, and, combined with your exercise and sweat production, activated it.”

Jim blinked. Damn.

“Lucky you command me when you did. You were just inches from being dead. Again.”

A groan left Jim’s lips as he pressed a hand to his face and let it slide across his skin. “I have an idea as to which planet it was.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. When I was off exploring one of the Ensigns stumbled into me and we got caught in some of the planet life. I guess the pollen got on me.”

“Well no need to worry. I’ve added it to the list of ‘Things Jim Kirk is deathly allergic to.’”

This earned a bark of a laugh from Jim as he shook his head. “I guess it keeps growing?”

“Alarmingly so. I’m going to have bring Spock in on this so he knows what you can and cannot have as well as giving him some of the hypos to keep you from going into anaphylactic shock.”

Jim grumbled.

“Look. You’re not always gonna be able to help yourself and I’m not always gonna be there for ya, kid. Might a well have someone else who knows what’s going on.”

“Oh fine.” Kirk finally replied with a sour expression on his face. He’d rather it be Spock then someone else. And besides, Spock had like a photographic memory, he’d know everything that Jim had a reaction to and would do well to keep him away from it.

xXx

A few days after the gym incident McCoy had called Jim and Spock into his office. Jim knew why they were there and he was sullen. Spock sat as poised as ever but his head was tilted in such a way to convey that he was curious to know why he had been summoned as well as to the Captain’s attitude.

“Okay, here’s the deal.” Bones began, look from Jim to Spock. “I’m sure you’ve heard about Jim being slightly incapacitated last week due to an allergic reaction to one of the plants.”

Spock blinked and glanced from Jim and then to McCoy. “Yes, I am aware.”

“Well, it’s becoming a tad too difficult for me to scan every single thing that Jim might come into contact with so, Spock.” Bones turned his full attention to the Vulcan. “I’m bringing you in on this to help keep Jim from dying…again.” Though it was meant as a joke, Spock stiffened slightly but no one seemed to see it except for Jim but he paid no heed to it.

“How may I be of assistance?”

“I have a list of ‘Things Jim Kirk is deathly allergic to.’ and I will forward you a copy. Our ship wide scanners do a pretty good job of finding stuff before we beam down to the planet but obviously they are not perfect nor can they compensate for elements that must have an activation agent. I just need an extra pair of eyes to make sure there is nothing dangerous to Jim’s health out there.”

Silence stretched between the trio as Jim visible hunched down further in his chair. He hated his allergies. Hated them with a passion because they were like a noose around his neck. He always had to be careful with what he ate or what he touched. It was humiliating to be so damn careful. And now to add Spock into the equation of being his babysitter, it didn't quite sit well with Jim. He felt the need to sort of keep up this appearance around the Vulcan. He didn’t want to be seen as weak since he and Spock were still on slightly rocky terms as to how well they worked together. They were progressing nicely but Jim still didn’t like having to be reliant on other people.

“Very well.” Spock replied, relaxing slightly in his chair. He looked over at Jim who was still sullenly sitting in his chair, arms crossed.

“Welp. That’s all. Run along now.”

Jim wasted no time in getting out of that office as quick as he could though he was no match for Vulcan speed and his First Officer quickly caught up with him.

“Captain.”

Jim stiffened and then hunched his shoulders hoping to avoid this conversation. He knew it was coming.

“Captain.” Spock said again before reaching to extend slender digits to grasp Jim’s shoulder. This caught the captain by surprise and made him stop, looking wide eyed. Obviously Spock meant business or otherwise he wouldn’t have touched him.

“Yes?” Jim let out a sigh, dragging his hand across his face as he waited, leaning against the wall. The hallway they were in seemed to be empty.

“I was unaware to the severity of your allergies.”

Jim rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well, I don’t like to broadcast it much.”

“I see. Still, as your First Officer and second in command, it is imperative that I am privy to such information.”

This statement earned a glare from Jim. “Yeah, well, Bones knows about it so I figured if things got bad he would bring you in. Obviously things are bad because now you know.”

Jim shrugged his shoulders. Spock was gazing at him intently and it was starting to make him feel uncomfortable. The silence was growing too long and Jim was about to break it before Spock beat him to the punchline.

“May I ask a personal query?”

“Might as well.”

There was a beat before Spock spoke his mind. “How long have you been allergic to such thing?”

Well shit. Now he was going to have to expose his dirty childhood laundry. Well, he didn’t have to. He could lie but he had no doubt Spock would either hack into his file or go and ask Bones. But truth be told, Jim didn’t feel like telling the Vulcan. Why should he? They weren’t friends. At least, Jim didn’t think so. Their relationship was mostly on a professional level. But maybe it was time to start moving past that and focusing on a long term…something. After all, they still had four and a half years of this mission together.

“Why don’t we have dinner together later and I can tell you.”

“That would be acceptable.”

With a curt nod, Spock left, leaving Jim slouching in a hallway.

xXx

Later that evening, both Captain and First Officer sat huddled in the far corner of the mess, away from prying ears so that their conversation could be held somewhat privately. Curiously enough, Spock took special note of the food that was on Jim’s plate. True to his word, Dr. McCoy had forwarded the list to Spock’s PADD where he quickly memorized the extensive list of allergies that Kirk had. Everything ranging from simple sniffles to full on attacks that could kill him. It was alarming and wonders to know how Kirk had not died from something he was allergic to and how he still pressed forward like he was unaffected by such restrictions. It painted his captain in a new light.

It was near the end of their meal that Jim finally worked up the nerve to tell Spock a little about his past.

“You would think being born in space would make me like a superhuman or something but it didn’t. Actual, it had no effect on me except making my name well known across the galaxies.” His brow furrowed and lips turned down at that thought before he continued. “But my mom traveled off world a lot so I spent a lot of time with my Uncle Frank.” His face was completely void of all emotions as he continued. “So she would bring back little trinkets and stuff for my brother and I but it turned out she introduced a lot of shit into my system. Frank had to deal with the aftermath of all of my reaction and eventually just said fuck it and left me to deal with it on my own. It wasn’t till a few years later that my mom realized that she was the one causing all of my allergies. Luckily my brother, while he still lived with us, kept tabs on all of the stuff and helped me to stay away from certain things. He’d also rush me to the hospital when things got bad or Frank was too drunk to care. But then he ran away leaving me to fend for myself. That’s it.”

If Spock was willing to express emotions on his face they would range from confusion to admiration to maybe a bit of loathing and finally curiosity. Jim Kirk still continued to surprise him. Who knew a human like him could be so…fascinating?

After the silence stretched on, Jim finally looked up, unnerved by it. “Are you gonna say anything?”

“I admire your will to be proactive in taking your health and care into your own hands at such a young age.”

Jim snorted. “Well, I wasn’t expecting that.”

“What were you expecting?”

“Oh, I don’t know, some remark about how allergies are illogical or how I am an illogical human for going into space with so many great unknowns and if I so much as look at something wrong I could end up dead.”

He laughed at his own words, missing the horrified expression that flickered across Spock’s eyes before he composed himself.

“I assure you, Captain, I would wish no such thing on anybody. And no, allergies are not illogical nor is your running of this starship illogical based on your biological factors.”

This caused Jim to sober up. Wow. Did Spock just give him a compliment?

“Furthermore, your proficiency with overcoming such an obstacle is highly motivational and inspiring.”

Shit. Spock was paying him compliments. What the fuck?

“Oh. Thanks.” He said, looking down at his empty plate. Not sure what else to say.

“Thanks is not needed but you are welcome nonetheless.” The Vulcan said in a matter-o-fact tone.

Jim looked up and gave him a small smile. Well, that didn’t go as bad as he thought it would. Maybe he and Spock could get along after all.


	2. Damn Tribbles

It was several months since the plant incident. In that time, Jim had had several near misses thanks to Spock’s keen eye and knowledge of what Jim could and could not have. Most of it revolved around dining with alien dignitaries, wanting to share their delicacies with the captain of the Enterprise but Spock and been diplomatic in informing them that the Captain could not ingest such things for it would cause him great harm. Jim tried to brush aside the hero aspect Spock sort of seemed to be developing in his mind and simply went along for the ride. 

In that time, Jim and Spock had also sort of gotten to know one another, exchanging stories over meal times, telling of their past and what their childhood was like. Spock told of how he was ridiculed and bullied for being half human. He shared how he tried to overcome his shortcomings and how, till this day, he still struggles with accepting who he is as a son of two worlds.

Jim, in turn, shared a little more of Uncle Frank and his brother Sam. He didn’t go into all the gory details because, quite frankly, he didn’t want to, nor wanted the sympathy of a Vulcan. But he shared of how he and Sam would spend summers playing in the woods and coming up with new games. They did their best to avoid Uncle Frank as much as they could, especially when he had been drinking. Jim also shared how much it had hurt when his brother left him alone so that it was only him and Frank. Things took an ugly turn after that but Jim did not expound further, leaving Spock to question what exactly happened. Jim also expertly left out any mention of Tarsus IV but did hint at it, saying he spent some time off world but that was about it.

So all in all, Jim and Spock were starting to develop a personal relationship outside of work and Jim…like it. Besides having Bones as he best friend, he was also developing a relationship with someone else who could possibly be his best friend. It made him smile. He could only wonder though what Spock thought about this.

After one of their dinner talks, Jim wondered back to his quarters, a small little smile on his face. Maybe he had been wrong about Spock after all. He wasn’t like the other Vulcans and it had nothing to do with him being half human. Spock was different and he liked that. He was a challenge for Jim and gave him a lot to think about as well as intelligent conversations. Spock would be a good friend to have.

Slipping into his quarters, Jim prepped himself and went to bed.

xXx

The following morning Jim awoke cranky and groggy and irritable. All the well wishing from the night before had vanished as he struggled to rise from bed. His nose was stuffy and his eyes were watery. Everything seemed to itch too. What the fuck? Maybe a shower would help.

It helped for only a few minutes before everything set back in again. Slipping on a clean uniform, Jim grumpily made his way to the bridge, absently scratching at his neck and constantly fighting to sneeze. His first thought was that he was getting a cold. God, he’d have to go see Bones after his shift.

Arriving on the bridge he offered a small smile to Spock while he asked for is PADD and quickly began acquainting himself with everything that had transpired during the night.

It was well into the shift, his fingers angrily scratching the back of his neck. No matter what he did, he didn’t seem to be able to relieve the itch that was bugging him. Actually, his whole body itched and his nose was stuffy and he couldn’t see straight. It was making his mood all the more irritable. So when Spock came up and spoke his name, Jim snapped, and regretted it as soon as the word ‘yes’ left his mouth.

“I’m sorry Spock.” He said, taking a breath. “Did you have something to ask?”

“Captain, are you ill?”

“I don’t know. I might have a cold or something.”

Jim looked up and studied Spock’s expression. He saw something in it that told him the Vulcan didn’t think he had a cold. Well shit.

“I would recommend that you see Dr. McCoy.”

Some part of him, Jim wasn't sure which, actually listened to Spock and rose from his seat. “Mr. Spock. You have the con.”

With a nod of his head, Spock took the captain’s chair and watched Jim’s retreating form walk into the turbolift. As soon as the door shut Jim ran his nose along the sleeve of his tunic. That was a mistake for his nose began to itch and he couldn’t escape the series of sneezes that seemed to follow.

“Damnit.” He managed to spit out before stumbling to medbay in search of Bones, sneezing and coughing along the way.

“Aw, what the hell, kid?”

“I don’t-” sneeze. “Know.” he finally managed to spit out, lying on a biobed. “I woke up like this.”

“Okay. Maybe this will do the trick.” Bones reached for a hypo and jabbed it into Jim’s neck as he flinched and automatically felt his sinus starting to clear.

“Thanks.”

“You alright?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you eat something?”

“No.” Jim snapped back. “I don’t know what it was but obviously there is something _else_ I am allergic to.” This was really starting to dampen his mood.

“Well at least this time it’s a minor allergy. Something like a cat or whatever.”

“Yeah, except there are not cats aboard the ship. So what gives?” Jim complained, exasperated.

“I don’t know, kid but hopefully everything is fixed. Let me know if you have more trouble.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Kirk said before hopping off the bed and going back to the Bridge.

 

“Are you well, Captain?”

“Yeah, I’ll live. Allergies.”

Spock frowned, his brow furrowing slightly. Jim caught it.

“Don’t worry about it. Nothing serious.” He shrugged his shoulders and continued with his duties.

The First Officer was starting to feel, uneasy, for lack of a better term. The ship was supposed to be safe for the Captain. Nothing should be bothering him. He made a mental note to run scans across the ship for any forms of animals or contaminates that could have gotten aboard and affected the Captain.

xXx

Jim sat miserable at dinner, head resting on the table, flushed cheek against the cool metal. “Ugh.” he groaned, not even attempting to eat. He couldn’t.

“Captain?”

“Jim.”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s Jim. We’re off duty. You can call me Jim.”

“Very well. Jim, you should-”

“Yeah, yeah. I know. I was just hoping it would magically go away this time.”

“It would be to your benefit to know that I have scanned the ship for any anomalies that may shed some light on your current situation but the scans have come back negative for any sort of animals or plants that were brought on board that would be affecting you.”

This caused Jim to look up and glance at Spock.

“Oh. Uh, thanks.” he gave a lopsided grin before moping back against the table.

xXx

“Damn, kid.” Bones gave him another hypo as Jim rubbed his neck.

“You’re telling me. I don’t know what the fuck is going on.”

Jim and Spock stood in Medbay as Bones retracted his hypo and glanced at Jim.

“I don’t know but something has gotten into ship causing your allergies to act up. We’ll give it a few more days before we start going head to toe on the ship figuring out what’s going on.”

“Okay.” Jim replied, pathetically.

xXx

Tentatively Spock extended his hand so that it brushed against Jim’s back, dancing in circular motions. The Captain laid sprawled on the floor of the observation deck, his breath labored as he attempted to breath through a stuffy nose and see through watery eyes. They were rimmed red and he was miserable. Spock was at a loss for what to do. Often times his mother had comforted him in his manner. Though he saw no benefit to him at the time, he often found himself relaxing on the experience and thought it would do well for Jim.

“Spaaak.” Jim moaned, shifting slightly under the light press of the Vulcan’s hand.

“Yes, Jim?”

“That feels nice.”

A slight green blush rose against Vulcan cheeks. “I am glad.”

Jim sniffed. “I think we need to start scanning stuff or something. It’s been like...3 days now and I’m not any better.”

“I would agree. Would you like to start now or shall we wait for the morning?”

Jim sighed. “Might as well start now.”

“Very well.”

In one fluid motion Spock rose and extended his hand towards Kirk and waited as the male grasped it lightly, relying on his own strength to lift him up before quickly taking his hand away.

“My quarters it is.” Warily, Jim said as they left the observation deck and went to his quarters.

Methodically, Spock moved around Jim’s room running his tricorder across everything that was visible in the room. He started with the desk and the chairs and then moved to the bed and finally the closet where his clothes were kept. It wasn’t till he reached the last item that his tricorder began a series of beeping.

“It seems I have found the source of your problem.”

“What is it?” Jim asked, walking over to stand behind Spock as he watches the device run over his clothes. Spock turned suddenly and waved the white device over Jim and it beeped.

“It would appear that your clothes have been exposed to tribble fur.”

“What?” Jim said flatly, brow arching.

“Tribble fur.”

“What the fuck? How in the world did I get tribble fur on all of my clothing?” He let out an exasperated sigh and fell back on the bed.

“It would be advisable that we purge your quarters of all the tribble fur so that you may rest easier.”

“Great. Just great.” Jim griped. “I guess we should go tell Bones.”

xXx

“How the hell did this happen?” McCoy was livid as he jabbed another hypo in Jim. He had told him to go shower in the decontamination showers and change into scrubs so that he had something to wear while his room and clothes were being decontaminated.

“You can stay here the night, if you want.” Bones offered but he knew how much Jim hated medbay.

“Thanks Bones.”

“Or.” Spock began, after a small beat of silence. “I have more than enough room in my quarters. You are more than welcome to stay the night.”

Jim glanced at Spock before giving a wide smile and clapping him on the shoulder. “That’d be great. Thanks.” He hopped off the bed and began heading towards the exit.

“Took him long enough.” McCoy muttered under his breath.

“Excuse me, doctor?”

McCoy arched a brow. “Took him long enough to finally warm up to you.”

“I was unaware that I was cold to him.”

It was a moment before Bones burst into a fit of laughter as he watched Spock raise a brow. “He’s finally getting to know and like you. In case you haven’t noticed, Jim has a tendency to touch those he comes into contact with. He finally feels comfortable enough around you to extend the same courtesy he does to others.”

A moment of clarity dawned on Spock as he filed this information away for later.

“Thank you for your assistance, Doctor.”

“Anytime.” Bones chuckled.

xXx

Jim waited awkwardly at Spock’s door. He should have waited to leave with his FO but didn’t think about it till he had been about to enter is override code into the door. That would be rude of him to do without the consent of Spock. So he stood by the door and danced from foot to foot until Spock came a few minutes later.

“Is something the matter, Capta- Jim?”

“No. I was just getting ahead of myself.”

Spock frowned, not understanding but did not ask for Jim to elaborate on it as they both entered into his quarters.

“You may sleep on the bed or the couch.” He offered, turning on the lights.

Jim sucked in a breath as he glanced around, soaking in the decorations and minimal stuff that Spock had. It seemed very fitting and Jim liked it.

“I can take the couch, that’s fine.” He smiled, walking over to the couch and laying down, grabbing a blanket that was extremely soft. Without a second's notice he soon huddled under and drifted to sleep, not waiting to bid Spock a good night, the few days of allergies having worn him out.

“Good night, Jim.” Spock whispered quietly before turning off the lights and going to bed himself.

xXx

With a start Jim woke with a figure looming by his side. Warm hands were pressed against his face. Quickly, they retracted.

“Spock?” Jim slurred, voice foggy with sleep. He blinked in the darkness, soft light emitted from the clock on the stand.

“I am here Jim.”

“What’s going on?”

“You were trashing and talking in your sleep. I came to wake you up.”

Thank goodness it was dark otherwise Spock would have been able to see the bright crimson flush that speckled Jim’s cheeks. Damn. Another one of those nightmares. First allergies and now this. He couldn’t catch a break.

“Oh.” he paused before asking quietly. “Did I say anything….uh…” He trailed off.

“You were warning for someone to run.”

“Oh. Okay.” He said clutching the blanket tightly. 

“Woud you- would you like to talk about it?”

This was getting a little too uncomfortable for Jim but he appreciated Spock’s effort for wanting to help. So he shook his head, realizing his FO probably couldn’t see in the dark.

“No, thank you But I appreciate your concern.”

“Very well.” Spock replied softly as he retreated back to his bed. All the while his hand had still rested on Jim’s shoulder which he found now to be quite cold without the contact. Seriously, what the fuck was going on? Everything seemed to be off kilter.

Jim leaned back against the couch and stared up at the dark ceiling. He vaguely remembered a little of what his dream about it. It was Tarsus IV. He, along with a band of kids had been running through the town square, grabbing what food they could before they were shot at by the guards. It sent a shudder through his spin as he brought the blanket back up to his chin. He refused to think much about his past. When he was forced to talk about it, he did his best to talk about it in a detached manner. It brought back too many emotions he couldn’t deal with. Bones knew a little of it, having been there during many of his nightmares. But no matter how much the good doctor pressed, Jim still refused to budge on his stance. He didn’t want to talk about. Didn’t need to and never would. Bones had left it at that though, on a rare occasion or a tough mission Bones would note the subtle change in Jim and ask but always, he refused.


	3. Spock Talks to Bones

It took a couple of days but Jim’s room and clothing had finally been decontaminated of all the tribble fur. It still was a mystery as to how it ended up in the Captain’s quarters and no one else's, but everyone was wondering if it had been a sort of prank. But Jim didn’t know anyone who would want to do something like that to him. And, someone would have to know about his allergy to tribble fur. Nevertheless, it left him feeling a bit uneasy but he hid it well. Or so he thought. But since he had been spending so much time with Spock, now, the Vulcan was starting to pick up on the subtle shifts in Jim’s mood and thoughts. So as they rode the turbo lift together to the bridge, he spoke in a quiet voice.

“What is bothering you, Jim?” This was serious and a personal manner. It had taken a while to get use to, but Spock referred to Jim by his first name instead of his title.

“Nothing.” He looked up innocently and flashed one of his bright smiles. But it didn’t reach his eyes.

“You don’t fool me. What is wrong?”

“I know we think it’s a joke or a prank that someone wants to cover all of my things with tribble fur but not a lot of people know about this stuff. So, it leaves one to wonder that maybe someone hacked into my files. Even when I’m drunk I don’t blab about stuff like that. So, makes me wonder who would be willing enough to hack and ‘play this prank’.” He used air quotes around the latter part of his speech before looking up at Spock. His blue orbs were a plethora of emotion and Spock found it difficult to peg each emotion. It ranged from unease to desperation to ‘Spock, do you have the answer?’. It was that last one that stuck a cord with the Vulcan.

“I am not sure, Jim. But I will look into the manner for you. Let us just hope that it is nothing more than a human prank.”

“Thanks.” Kirk replied softly before the door slid open and they stepped onto the bridge.

xXx

The following weeks that passed after Spock had discovered that Jim had nightmares and soon found out he had them frequently, he could not escape the feeling of concern for his captain. He was such a fragile and emotional creature that it constantly amazed him how much like a warrior Kirk was. He pushed past his shortcomings and let nothing stop him. It was almost inspiring to Spock and made him want to accept who he was as a person. It also made him want to deepen his friendship with the captain, a certain need of wanting to help was quite heavy on his shoulders. So he went to visit Dr. McCoy.

“What can I do for you Spock?” McCoy asked as he sat behind his desk, looking up. Spock took the opportunity to sit in the chair he had taken previously and sat.

“You know Jim quite well.”

“I like to think so. Why?”

“How does he move forward each day despite all of the obstacles in his way?”

There was a bark of a laugh that caught Spock by surprise as he looked at McCoy and arched a brow.

“Just you wait and you’ll see for yourself. But I’ll tell you. 

“Jim Kirk is a survivor. He won’t tell me a lot of what his childhood and life was like before coming to the academy but the one thing that I’ve learned about Jim is he likes to stick it to the man. He doesn't take no for an answer and he will put 110% into everything he does if it means his crew and his friends are safe. Deep down inside, Jim has a really big heart and he would do anything for anybody. Despite him having that arrogant playboy attitude, he’s a determined son of a bitch. Jim puts himself before others. That is how he pushes forward”

Silence fell between the two as they looked at each other. Spock worked carefully on how to phrase his next question.

“Do you find it disconcerting that he bottles things to himself?”

McCoy looked at Spock. He sort of understood the Vulcan’s question and where this conversation may be headed.

“Despite Jim being a very outgoing person and putting others before him, he does neglect himself.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t figured that out yet. Why do you bring it up?”

“Humans need a confidant, someone to tell their secrets to or simply someone to listen. I was wondering if Jim had such a person.”

Bones blinked. “It’s not you?”

Surprise passed over the Vulcan’s features. “No.”

“Huh. I figured the way you two had been hanging out together he was dishing out some of his secrets.”

“Jim has told me little of his life. He told of his brother Sam and his Uncle Frank and that he had spent some time off planet. I also learned that he was a proactive child where he learned to take care of himself quickly.”

A snort left McCoy’s lips and he nodded. “Sounds like Jim. Did he happen to elaborate on his ‘off planet’ stay?”

“No. But he became very closed off and distant when he mentioned it.”

“I have my suspicions about where he was but I don’t have any conformation. His file is also sealed and I don’t have the hacking skills like he does. Maybe you do?”

“Doctor, what you are suggestion would be an invasion of privacy. Furthermore, it would break the captain’s trust.”

“Ture but it bugs the shit out of me that he won't trust me with these things. Look, Jim is my best friend and I’m his. You’re also working your way in there too, but Jim Kirk is a private man despite how open he is. Medically and as his friend, I would love to know everything about him but I don’t wanna push the kid. If I could hack into his file, I would, so I could know a better way to help him.”

This gave Spock something more to think over. He found the conversation enlightening and curious. 

“I will take your idea into consideration. I also would like to ‘grow closer’ to Jim so that he has the confidant that humans need.”

“Why?”

The question took Spock off by guard. Why was he doing this? Why did he want to? Spock knew but did he want to tell the doctor about it?

“I feel this innate feeling to help him in anyway that I can to ensure that the operations of the Enterprise run smoothly.” He paused, hesitating with the next part of his answer. But the way in which Dr. McCoy was looking at him, Spock wondered if the doctor knew.

“I also find Jim Kirk to be a fascinating human and want to know more about him.”

“So like a science project?” McCoy teased, a smile lifting his lips upwards.

“In a sense, yes.”

“I’m just teasing Spock. But good for you. I think it will be beneficial for both of you.”

“Why do you say that, doctor?”

“Jim has few friends. He has me and he has some of the bridge crew but there is no one, that I know of, where he is 100% open and honest with. For a long time I liked to think I could be that guy but years of working with him, there are just some things Jim doesn’t want to say. I hope you can draw it out of him.”

The doctor took a breath before continuing.

“It’s also good for you because someone gets to see who you truly are. Obviously you trust Jim enough to let your guard down. Not a lot of people get to see who Spock really is but I think you are well on your way to doing that with Jim.”

Spock stared at the doctor, alarmed and grateful at the prescriptiveness the man seemed to possess.

“This conversation has been most enlightening. I thank you for your time, doctor.”

“Glad I could help.” He flashed a smile before delving back into his work.

Spock swiftly rose and glided back out of the medbay and into the quiet halls. Dr. McCoy offered a possible solution to find more of Jim’s past but Spock was Vulcan and he knew that some secrets were meant to stay hidden. He knew that some people wished to keep things to themselves. But yet the burning curiosity was like a fire in his veins. One day, hopefully soon, he was going to ask Jim to open up about his childhood and off world activities.

xXx

Spock and Jim ate dinner later that night. The mess hall was nearly deserted as they sat huddled at a table, leaning forward like they were scared of being overheard. In reality it was just something they did, each finding the other to be quite fascinating and wanting to hang on every word. They both exchanged what they had done that day though Spock left out a lot of details about why he had gone to visit Dr. McCoy. However, it was at the mention of the good doctor’s name that Jim asked the question that had been burning inside him.

“Did you happen to find any answers as to the whole tribble situation?”

“I was unable to locate a specific person but it does look like someone had been looking up personal medical files using the access codes of one of the nurses or doctors in mebday.”

“Do you think it is one of them?”

“I do not think so for it would go against everything a doctor swears to uphold. No, I think someone has either stolen, memorized, or duplicated the the access code.”

“So it could be anyone?”

“Indeed.”

A dark expression crossed over Jim’s features as he sat back in the chair, hands laced together as he kept his focus on his fingers. Honestly, he had nothing to be ashamed of but the thing that concerned him was that, if they could hack into his medical files, they could hack into his sealed files. If they saw that information and wanted to do something about it, like blackmail or hang a noose around his neck, it would be very, very bad. But he had no reason to think that whoever had stolen the medical information had malicious intent. He really was just hoping that it was a prank.

“This issues greatly troubles you.” Spock’s voice broke through his thoughts, causing blue hues to travel upwards to meet the chocolate brown ones.

It was uncanny the way Spock had the ability to read him. In a way, he was grateful. He could leave a lot of things unsaid until Spock asked him about it. But sooner or later, he was going to have to tell someone about Tarsus IV or risk it coming out as ‘dirty laundry’. Of course it was in no way dirty laundry but Jim did what he had to do to survive and something of the things he’d done were not pretty.

“Yes.” He finally replied.

“This goes beyond the simple hacking of medical files.” It was a statement and not a question. Spock was good.

“Yes.”  
“You fear that if they can hack into medical, they can hack into other things.”

“Yes.”

Brown eyes sparked with understanding. Metaphorically it made a pull on his heartstrings. Of course the thought was illogical but the ‘feelings’ that were beginning to stir inside him to see the way this issues had beaten down his captain was alarming.

“Jim.” Spock started, firmly. This caused the captain to look up.

“Why is this any different than anything else you have dealt with. From what little you have told me, you have met everything head on and wasted no time in defeating whatever obstacle was in your way. Why do you let this hang as a dark cloud over your head? You are Jim Kirk and you do not take no for an answer.”

Surprise was written all over Jim’s face as he blinked several times, looking at the sudden motivational speech from Spock. Obviously him and Dr. McCoy had talked about a great deal of things. It caused a warm smile to form on his lips.

“You’re right.” He said at last. “This is no different. There should be no shame. I’m making assumptions.” He gave a firm nod of his head as he looked at Spock, a pool of warmth spilling from his blue orbs. Jim was being silly and it was illogical to jump to conclusions.

“Thanks, Spock.” He finally said as they finished their meal.

“You are welcome, Jim.” A pleased look flashed across the Vulcan’s face where he let the expression linger longer than in needed to but it made him feel good to help Jim.


	4. Shore Leave

Tribble fur and attacks were pushed to the backburner, life aboard the Enterprise becoming strenuous on everyone as they traveled across the galaxy completing mission after mission. It was non stop work and everyone was running on fumes after giving over 100% of effort. Luckily the Brass back at Star Fleet was smart enough to note the good work that everyone was doing to give the crew a few days of shore leave. It may not be enough to compensate for all of their work, but they were all ready and willing to take a couple of days break.

Spock had first rotation on the skeleton crew that would be on the Enterprise to make sure that nothing should befall the ship. He only planned to stay for a few hours before joining Jim on the planet where they could spend uninterrupted time filling in the gaps of their life stories as well as enjoying the peace and serenity of the planet. The Vulcan was actually excited...If he allowed himself to feel excitement that was.

Jim wasted no time in checking into a three bedroom hotel room where he, Spock and Bones would be staying the duration of their shore leave. One side overlooked the bustling city while the other overlooked the peace and quiet of a large body of water. Jim wasn’t sure if it was a lake or ocean. Nevertheless, it looked like it was meant for swimming. And, as per usual, Bones had run scans across the planet and researched the food with the help of Spock to make sure that there was nothing that could harm the captain. Thier search came back minimal at best, there only being a few things Jim’ had to make sure to stay away from. For example some of the wildlife as well as some of the food. That seemed to be it, though.

“Not too bad, huh? Could be worse.” Jim joked as McCoy scowled at him as they unpacked a few of their belongings before going into the city. They figured Spock would want to stay clear of all the people and figured he wouldn’t miss the short little excursion the captain and doctor took together.

Street vendors were everywhere and Jim soon lost himself in all of the bright colors and trinkets the planet had to offer. It was all overwhelming but he loved every last minute of it. Here and there he’d pick up a few souvenirs to take back to the ship because he felt like this trip was going to be a good one. One of relaxation with his two best friends and nothing to worry about. Life was perfect.

Later that night, Spock joined them for dinner at a family friendly restaurant that seemed to have an adult section. That was where they sat, exchanging stories, telling jokes and laughing. Jim had to admit, though, it was rare that he saw Spock outside of regulation clothing but damn, he did them justice. Of course it only brightened the smile on his face every time he looked at his First Officer. Of course, Jim was dressed in jeans and a simple t-shirt, Bones having dressed in a similar fashion as the younger man. And, like Jim had anticipated, everything was perfect. Pure joy and happiness radiated from him which Spock picked up in an instant. This suited Jim. It made him look younger, to not have to deal with the pressure of running a starship. It gave the human a chance to revert back to his actual age instead of running around worrying about everything else. Spock took a mental photograph because he wanted to remember this moment forever.

Bellies full, spirits high, they all began the short walk back to their hotel. Bones had left them in favor of some night time activities leaving Jim alone with Spock as they walked a little too close down a near deserted sidewalk. The hum of the city could be heard over the song of the body of water. It held sort of a wonky rhythm but Jim found himself stepping to the beat as he laughed too loud and simply enjoyed his time with Spock.

They were mere yards from their hotel when a figure stepped from the shadows. Though Jim was not drunk he was a little intoxicated. So it was with a cheery voice he greeted the stranger.

“Hey there. Can we help you?”

“Perhaps.” His voice was smooth as silk, teeth glinting in the pale light of the moon. 

“Well that was cryptic. Why else would you come up to us?”

“Maybe I can get your opinion on something?”

Alarm bells were ringing in Jim’s mind but he was too free feeling to really pay them attention. Besides, Spock wasn’t telling them to go so maybe things would be safe. However, Jim missed the sudden stiffening in the Vulcan as he pressed a little closer to Jim in a protective manner.

“Shoot. What do you want an opinion on?”

The man was reaching into his jacket to produce something. It was in that moment that Spock shoved himself between the stranger and the captain, causing him to stumble.

“Spock, what the hell?”

“We should leave Jim.”

“Why didn’t you say that like 20 seconds ago?”

“I was not certain of his exact intent. However, now I am.”

Spock glared at the stranger as he pulled himself to his full height, using all his Vulcan intimidation.

“I would advise that you sheeth whatever it is you intent to produce and destroy it. As I have your physical features commited to memory I will be reporting you to the local authorities for this scheme that you are running.”

By this time, Jim came to peer around Spock, watching as the man’s hand still hovered inside a dark jacket. Obviously he had bad intentions if Spock was getting involved.

“Jim. Stay back.”

Time seemed to freeze as man withdrew whatever he had been hiding in his jacket and released it into the air. It was a mighty fine powder. Luckily, Jim was smart enough to not look into it but shield his face as a very warm body seem to wrap around him until they were practically fused together. A low Vulcan voice pressed against his ear.

“Stay here Jim and do not move.”

“Okay.” He swallowed as a sudden rush of cool air bombarded his system as he remained crouched, leaning against the brick wall as he watched Spock’s retreating back.   
Jim wasn’t sure how much time had passed but it wasn’t long before Spock came running back to him, face expressionless as he helped Jim to his feet and pushed him towards the hotel.

“Hey! What the hell. You don’t need to be so rough. What’s up, Spock? What was that all about?”

“That man was going to force us to ingest an unknown substance. No doubt some sort of drug that would cause us to pass out. His intent was made up after I stepped in front of you and he was going to go through with his plan.”

They had reached the hotel door now and where making a beeline for the lift.

“He was a predator bent on robbing tourists of their money and whatever else he could get his hands on. He was going to do the same to us but fortunately, I acted quickly enough to spoil his plans and prevent much of the powder from entering into our system.”

Spock was greeted with silence before he turned around and noted Jim slumped against the wall struggling to stand.

“Speak for yourself.” His voice slurred. “I think some of it got into my lungs. Though, I don’t know if it’s enough to fully-”

His voice cut off as he slid down to the floor with an umph. Jim’s head lolled to the side as he struggled to keep Spock in focus.

“I don’t feel to good.”

“Jim!” The other explained, crouching low and protective over Jim as warm hands pressed against the human’s face.

“I will page Dr. McCoy immediately as soon as enter into our room.”

“Okay.”

Spock wasted no time as he gently retrieved the captain from the floor and fled out of the lift and went straight to the room. Jim wasn’t quite sure how his Vulcan friend managed to do all of those tasks at once but the next thing he knew was he was placed in a bed with such tender care with a cloth pressed against his head all the while, Spock was speaking rapidly to Dr. McCoy, whom Jim could hear cursing over the comm, while he exchanged instructions and information with Spock until he could get there are look at Jim himself. In the meantime, Jim found his body shivering and sweating as his vision blurred. If this drug was supposed to incapacitate someone, why the hell wasn’t he passing out yet? Unless…? Shit, not this better not be one of those allergy things. If he was, he was going to be extremely pissed.

Then McCoy came in so he was pissed enough for the both of them as Jim lay shivering under the blankets. “Bones.” He whined.

“Goddamit, Jim. What the fuck have you done now.”

“Hey!” He tried to shout but it came out feeble. “It wasn’t my fault, okay. And please tell me this isn’t another on one of those allergy things. I don’t know how much I can take of those.”

A bone rattling cough expelled from his lungs.

“No, I don’t think it’s allergies but whatever this substance is, it’s destroying your insides. I’m going to have to find an antidote and fast.” Bones turned his attention to Spock. “You don’t happen to have a sample, do you?”

“Undoubtedly it is lined in our clothing. If you wish, I will supply my shirt for you.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you can give me.” Bones grumbled as he set to work.

Everything passed in a blur Jim. He wasn’t really lucid enough for most of it but he was hyperaware of how Spock hardly left his side, if only to fetch something for the doctor. Though he would never admit it out loud, it was a small comfort to Jim. It made him feel like things would be okay and that he would hopefully not die. Because, that would really suck to die while you were on shore leave.

Rest finally came to the captain as he found escape in unconsciousness. Bones had worked tirelessly and he now sat slouched in a chair, nursing a cup of whisky with Spock sitting adjacent from him.

“This is unbelievable.” The doctor muttered as he brought his pressed his cup to his lips and sipped. “Un fucking believable.” His voice dropped to a near growl.

“I express your same sentiment, doctor. However I must point out that I am at fault for what has happened to Jim. I knew that there was something wrong with the select individual and my lapse in judgement has caused the captain harm.”

“Don’t beat yourself up, Spock. You guys were having a good time. It’s not like we can scan every person to see if they have bad intentions or not. Sometimes we make mistakes. But thanks to your quick thinking and me always having hypos around because I know Jim, we were able to save him. Though I fear he may have some trouble breathing for the next few days so, he’s going to need to spend it in bed but I know that will not happen.”

A dark chuckle left McCoy’s lips as he finished off his whisky and poured himself another.

“I’m glad he has you, Spock. It’s been doing him good.”

This caused Spock to blink in the growing darkness. No doubt the doctor is referring to their earlier conversation where Spock had taken it upon himself to care after the captain. It may be for his own selfish needs but if Jim was getting something out of it then he must be doing something right.

“I am glad I can be of assistance for the captain.” The Vulcan replied in a hushed voice as brown hues drifted to look at the sleeping form of jim. He could hear the rattling breath of the male but at least he was alive. Spock feared if more of that powder had gotten into his system, there would be a different story to tell.

xXx

Jim awoke to both of his friends lounging in their chairs. Well, McCoy was sleeping in the chair, he wasn’t exactly sure what Spock was doing. Maybe meditating? Whatever.

The male struggled to sit upright. His limbs were stiff and weak and he felt like his chest was on fire. Slowly, he took a breath and noted the rasp in it. Jim had an inkling that it was going to be difficult to breath and talk for an undetermined amount of time. Great. Just great. But at least they were still on shore leave so, it shouldn’t be too terrible, right? Unless Bones prescribed him bed rest. Jim wrinkled his nose at that. No way in hell. He still wanted to go down to the lake.

Testing the abilities of his body, Jim tossed the covers and firmly planted his feet on the ground. It was a struggle to rise, but once he got past the initial pain of moving his limbs, he quickly fell into a pathetic pattern. Shuffle, shuffle, stop, gasp for air. Shuffle, shuffle, stop, gasp for air. It took him a hot minute but he managed to make it to the kitchen which was in the next room and he began making breakfast for his friends. It was the least he could do after they saved his life...again. Jim chuckled but it quickly turned into a cough. This of course, woke his friends up on the spot, hardly giving him time to withdraw a frying pan to start breakfast.

“Jim.” Bones exclaimed before he was rushing at him with a tricorder out, running it up and down the length of his body. Kirk let out an exasperated sigh. 

“I was just going to make breakfast for you guys. Nothing too labor intensive.”

Bones just glowered but not before Jim caught the spark of fondness in the man’s eyes as he glanced over the readings.

“Well, it’s as I suspected. You’re gonna want to take it easy and not stress yourself out too much and it’s going to be difficult for you to breath for a while.”

Jim arched a brow before crossing his arms over his chest as blue orbs glanced from the doctor to Spock.

“So I guess a lake day is out of the question?”

“As long as you don’t wade too far out or go under the water, holding your breath.”

Kirk was momentarily surprised that Bones was even considering letting him go to the lake.

“Really?”

Now it was McCoy’s turn to give an exasperated sigh. 

“Yes, really. I know you Jim. You’re not going to sit in bed for the rest of shore leave. So, just take it easy, okay?”

“Aye aye.” He chimed with a mock salute.

xXx

The beach was quite relaxing. The trio had run into a few of the other crew members and Bones quickly found himself being drawn away by Christine. Jim had to nudge his friend, saying that he’d be careful and if anything should happen, Spock was there to take care of everything. After all, the Vulcan had admitted to doing a bit of research on a few medical things relating to humans so that he could better assist Jim when need be. So it was with a slight grumble that Bones left them in pursuit of Christine.

“This is nice, isn’t it? Relaxing.” Jim was propped on his back, supported by his elbows as he looked over at Spock with a smile.

“Indeed, it is very tranquil.” 

Jim snorted and then let his head fall back as he soaked up the sun. As long as he didn’t move too much or laugh too hard, he could breathe almost normally. It was still shallow but it would pass. Besides, Spock was mentally calculating the number of breaths, the deepness as well as Jim’s heart rate, the human knew he would be fine. Until he suggested going into the water.

“Jim. Vulcan’s do not swim.”

“We’re not swimming per say, Spock, just gonna wade.”

Spock looked pointedly at Jim who just rolled his eyes. 

“Come on, it will be fun. I promise not to go too far.”

He wasted no time in tugging Spock to stand up and drag him to the edge of the surf where the cool water lapped across their feet. Jim felt his fiend stiffen slightly, causing the blonde to look over his shoulder.

“Relax.” He cooed. “You’ll be fine. But I guess it’s kind of cool to you.”

Spock nodded his head as they moved out further into the lapping water of the lake. It felt refreshing against Jim’s skin and he allowed himself to drop to his knees, getting as much of his skin yet as he could. He really wanted to dive under and swim away but knew he wouldn’t get away with it. So, he settled on bobbing around and looking up at Spock. It was hard to look at the Vulcan as he squinted into the sun but it looked like he had loosened up a little. He hoped.

Having enough of the bobbing, a mischievous light filled Jim’s eyes as he looked at Spock. The Vulcan looked back at him warily.

“Jim.” He warned. However, before Spock could react, a splash full of water was brushing across green skin that left him slightly sputtering. Jim thought he looked like a drowned cat. It was a mistake because Jim was bursting into a fit of laughter, clutching his sides and working to breath. Despite being inhibited, he was enjoying himself. It was only a moment more before he found himself pushed into the water. What the fuck?! Spock just pushed him! That couldn’t keep the wide smile from his lips as the two quickly became engaged in a splashing battle filled with laughter and small smiles from Spock.

After the pair had their fun and Jim was really due for a rest, the lounged on the beach and dried off. Light conversation flowed between them as they enjoyed the beach. Even with that hiccup, it was still a perfect trip.


	5. Sabotage

“I’m beginning.” _Breath_ . “To think that.” _Wheeze_ . “Someone or some _thing._ ” _Harsh breath_. “Has it out for me.” Jim prattled, hand gripping at his chest hoping to release some of the pressure there as he worked to breathe in a normal fashion but as always, it was proving difficult. Bones was glued to his side while Spock was on point with a couple of security guards who brought up the rear as they began the long trek back to the beam point. Hopeful Jim was going to make it that far. He was ever the optimist but with the flicker of worry on Bones’ face and the stolen glances that Spock sent his way, Jim knew that it probably wasn’t good. He cursed the damn allergies and how they were interfering with his life. Sure, Jim had dealt with it since he was small. He coped, managed, moved on. But the increase of reactions and someone random and suspicious behavior on alien worlds, he couldn’t help but wonder if some entity or deity was conspiring against him. Either trying to kill him or just make his life difficult. He was getting damn tired of the whole thing and wanted it to stop. 

“Captain. We will reach the beam point in 7.364 minutes. Doctor McCoy, is that sufficient time?”

“We’re going to have to make it be sufficient time.” Bones growled out as he jabbed a hypo in the side of Jim’s neck. The captain didn’t even protest but instead sighed in resignation.

“We can call this a colossal fuck up.” He muttered.

Spock gave him a sharp look.

“Captain I take full responsibility for not interpreting the data correctly. I’ve made a grievous error and thus have endangered your life. I will accept any disciplinary actions.”

“Damnit Spock.” Bones interjected before Jim got a chance to speak. “It’s not your fault.”

“As the head Science Officer on this ship it is my duty to make sure all instruments are in working order. I have failed in that regard and thus put the captain’s life in danger.”

“It’s not.” _Wheese_ . “Your fault, Spock.” _Ragged breath_. “I think someone tampered with-w-with the sensors.”

“Be that hypothesis as it may, it is still my duty to make sure things are in working order. Captain I suggest you cease talking and focus on breathing. We will be reaching the beam coordinates momentarily.”

Of course Jim just rolled his eyes and shifted his weight slightly, using Bones as a support.

“I’m beginning to think something is going on here, Jim.” Bones muttered against the round curve of his captain’s ear.

“I agree. What, I’m not sure but we have someone dangerous on this ship. I’m going to open an unofficial investigation into the matter.”

“And Spock?”

“I’ll talk some sense into him.” Jim whispered.

*

Jim paced around his quarters. Hands were clenched behind his back, having been discharged from MedBay a few hours prior. As soon as Bones had given him the all clear, he went straight to work reviewing everything since the pollen incident some time ago. At first Jim had all thought it to be a coincident. But then the tribbles happened. But with two more infractions happening, he was beginning to suspect foul play. The question was, why or how was this being done?

Dr. McCoy was the only one privy to this situation. Jim was waiting to clue Spock in once he had compiled enough sufficient data to present something to the Vulcan. He was sure with their combined efforts they could navigate to who exactly was responsible for these actions.

The first logical choice was the ensign who had knocked them both in the plant. At the time of the situation it indeed looked like she had lost her footing, thus resulting in her misstep. Jim had looked up her file and simply noted that she was fresh from the academy and a botanist. Surely she couldn’t have program the ship's sensor array to give a false report. She could also be in cahoots with someone. There were too many possibilities and Jim needed to narrow it down. He gave a growl of frustration and threw his hands up in the air. A moment later, his door chimed and he called enter.

Spock stood for just a moment outside the door before walking swiftly in. The doors slid shut and Jim stopped to give his First Officer a wide grin.

“Jim.” He greeted.

“Hey Spock.”

“Are you well?”

“Yeah, just frustrated.” To prove his point, Kirk ran both his hands through his blonde hair, causing the strands to stick up at odd angles. He caught a slightly amused look coming from his First Officer. So, he winked and went to collapse in his chair. Spock made himself at home, taking the seat opposite him.

“You are compiling data to support a hypothesis.”

“How did you know?” Jim blinked, surprised.

“I surmised and I have also drawn the same conclusion as you. Once we had returned to the ship, I began running diagnostics on the sensor arrays to find that they indeed have been tampered with to give a false read out. The air of the planet is laced with a chemical compound that equates to one of the many chemicals you are allergic to. It’s subtle but with the prolonged exposure, it began to weaken your system and thus made it difficult for you to breathe.”

Jim pressed his lips together and hummed as he process the new data.

“I was thinking it could be the ensign that ran into me on the planet, with the flowers. But she’s a botanist. I don’t think it was her. I don’t know who else to look for. Maybe someone who works on the bridge? Graduated from the science track…Anyone.” An exasperated sigh left his lips. “I just can’t figure out the motive. Certainly not from a Starfleet Officer.”

“It is most troubling. But we may also consider the fact that we have an imposter on board our ship.”

Jim stilled at this suggestion, eyes narrowed and harden. “You think?”

“It is possible.”

“This opens up to many more variables and options.”

“Indeed. However, we know that this individual or persons have the ability to hack terminals and access medical files as well as interfere with ship sensors. It could be any number of sentient beings. Human, Romulan, Klingon, Orion, Andorian.” Spock prattled the list.

“Can you pull up the records of personal on this ship and I’ll make a matrix to cross reference the data we have with what we’ve observed.?”

Spock was silent for a long moment. He blinked.

“What?”

“I was unaware you possess such capabilities.”

A sly smile and twinkling light overtook Jim’s face. “Stick around Mister Spock and you’ll be surprised at all of the things I can do. Maybe I’ll tell you about my hacking days.” He winked before he rose out of his chair to address his terminal and quickly began clacking away at the keyboard.

  
  


It was well into the night when the matrix completed the first round of data crunching. Jim had found that Spock had been quite intrigued with his setup and asked a lot of questions. Jim had smiled secretly to himself that he was able to impress his Vulcan like that. Yes, the captain had many, many talents. Skills and training he’d picked up along the way from his childhood. Most was a form of escape for him. A way to release his mind, escape the perils of life. That sort of thing. But that was a conversation for another time. Instead, they needed to focus on finding out if they had an imposter or not.

“The matrix has finished.” Spock stated as he brought a PADD over to where Jim was lounged on the couch. The captain looked up and leaned over a little closer than necessary to peer next to Spock, looking at the data.

“There are approximately 27 individuals who fit the criteria of our search parameters.”

“That’s still a lot of people. What else can we do to narrow down the search?”

“We can review their personnel files and then conduct in person interviews.”

“Still, a lot of work. But we might as well.”

“It is logical.”

“Okay.” Jim nodded, sitting up and stretching. “I’m beat though. So let’s do this more tomorrow, okay?”

“Very well. I will see you in the morning, Jim.”

“Night, Spock.” The Human smiled as he watched the Vulcan go. He needed fresh eyes before he could go over all of that data.

Going through this nightly routine, Jim soon found himself fast asleep.

*

As they flew through deep space, Jim slouched in his captain’s seat. There was quiet chatter on the bridge. Sulu and Chekov were going back and forth about their profession and Uhura was in deep conversation with another member of his crew. It was probably something relating to linguistics and Spock was hunched over his station. Jim gave him an unabashed look, admiring the view. The hint of a smile on his lips.

Suddenly, Spock straighten, like he knew he was being watched. Jim, however, did nothing to avert his gaze and let his eyes wander up till he met the Vulcan’s. Their gazes lock for just a moment but what Jim saw made him smile before Spock came over and handed the captain a PADD.

“I have compiled a list of personal files while inputting an algorithm to look for keywords such as hacking, and the likes. It should expedite the process of going through all 27 files.” Spock spoke in a hushed voice.

“Thank you.” Jim looked up, giving that brilliant smile of his. Their eyes locked once more, an intense wave of….something passed between before Spock gave a brief nod and returned to his station. The hit of a smile played at the corners of the blonde’s lips as he diverted his attention to the PADD and began reviewing the personnel.

The deeper Jim got into the files, the more consumed he became and slouched in his chair. The blonde was practically out of the thing before a noise startled him from thought and he looked up. The bridge crew was looking at him. Jim couldn’t help but blink, stare and then correct himself. Everyone went back to their business. He rubbed his eyes tiredly. This was getting them nowhere. They needed to figure out a way to flush the intruder out.

“Here you to, Captain.” A ensign came up to Jim and offered him a mug of coffee. Thinking nothing of it, Jim smile, took the cup and sipped at it.

“Thank you.” He’d seen the woman once before but couldn’t quite recall her name.

The woman gave a nod before retreating back to the tuborlift. It wasn’t uncommon for coffee to be brought to him periodically while he was on shift but he wasn't sure why now or who. He was about to take another sip before he noted a slight tremor in his hand. Sweat began to slick arcoss his skin. Limbs shook, fingers slipped at the coffee cup slipped from his grasp to shatter across the gleaming white floor of the bridge.

Everyone turned to look at the mess before varying degrees of concern flickered across each of their faces. Jim’s orbs blazed as he sought for Spock who was over in just an instant before Jim finally slipped out of his chair and onto the floor. Through gritted teeth he spoke. “Find her. P-poison.” He’s deadly sure.

“Someone page Doctor McCoy immediately. Additionally, someone please identify that ensign as well as her location.”

Before Jim could hear more of what was happening, black tinged his vision and he slipped into cold blackness.


	6. Betrayal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the final chapter. Thanks to everyone for the supportive and critiquing comments. I appreciate them. 
> 
> This fic started off with really no direction. I just wanted to explore Jim's allergies and all the things he was allergic to. In the end, it sort of developed into a plot driven piece. I might be added a sequel to this one or combining a couple of ideas. Tell me what you think on this chapter and the fic as a whole.
> 
> Don't forget, you can keep up to date with my work on tumblr beyondtheseah.tumblr.com
> 
> xox

Reality set in quickly and Jim found himself quite annoyed that he was back in sickbay, laying in a bed, and by the feel of it, had many tubes and wires protruding from his body. Honestly, it was getting old and he was tired of people trying to kill him. It was without a shadow of a doubt that there was a threat on his life and said assassin, or chain puller was on his ship. Jim just hoped that Spock and the others had been able to gather enough intel to make an arrest and put the person in the brig so they could face charges back at Star Fleet Headquarters. This had gone on long enough. And of course, all of these thoughts held a rapid fire before blue orbs blinked open. He was alone but off to the right Bones and Spock seemed to be in deep discussion...Again.

“You better have some damn good news.” He ground out, rising on shaking arms to a sitting position. Both Bones and Spock were at his side in an instant. Spock with a more reserved expression while Bones held a tricorder over Jim’s frame taking in the readings.

“How do you feel?”

“Fine. Please tell me we got the bastard or bastards who’s been doing this.”

“Captain. It appears that we were both right and wrong in our assessment as to the individual or individuals who are responsible for making attempts on your life.”

“So what exactly are you saying?”

“Spock.” Bones said exasperated. “At least let me do a quick scan and clear him before you go off and tell him everything.”

“Very well, Doctor.” He gave a brief nod before stepping back slightly.

Glaring at Bones, Jim allowed himself to be checked out. “Either it wasn’t that toxic of a poison or you managed to get to it quick enough.”

“We got to it quick enough. You would have been dead had Spock not rushed you in here.”

There was a faint smile on the captain’s lips as he stole a glance at his first officer. Jim knew he could always count on him.

“You’re going to feel tired, maybe a bit lethargic, so take it easy. Light duty. I assume you’re going to want to put your full attention on to the issue at hand.”

“Damn straight. Good thing we’re flying through empty space.”

“Okay. You’re clear kid, now get out.”

Disengaged from all the wires and tubes, Jim changed and went to stand by Spock.

“If you’ll follow me, Captain.” He said, before exiting Medbay.

 

With the doors locked and a sweep done through Jim’s room, Spock rounded on the male with a grave expression.

“Spock. You’re worrying me. What’s wrong?”

“Jim.” He began, opting for a personal touch. “After we tracked down the crew member who brought you your coffee, we found her just in time before she attempted to commit suicide.”

The blonde looked horrified. “Why?”

“At first, it appeared to be guilt for trying to take your life. After we managed to talk her down, she confessed everything that she knew.”

“Which is?”

“She, along with other people aboard the Enterprise, have been approached by an unknown individual. Using the art of blackmail, said individual used the lives of loved ones and other means of coercing the crew members to invade your personal life in attempt to terminate it.”

“So some fucker is using my own crew against me?”

“Yes.”

Jim went very, very still. Color drained from his face as he took an unconscious step backwards. A shiver ran down his spine. Blue orbs swept past Spock where he noted an open expression that was both horrified and concerned.

“Jim.” The voice was soft, non threatening. “Jim. Please stay calm. I will not hurt you.”

Still, that fight or flight instinct was starting to kick in. If his crew could so easily be blackmailed into trying to kill him, without even trying to warn him about it, what did that say about him? About his crew? About his family?

“Oh my God.” The captain looked with frightened eyes. He hadn’t realized just how close Spock had drawn himself in until light hands pressed against his shoulder.

“Jim. You are safe here. With me. Do you understand? I will make sure that no one harms you. You have no reason to fear me nor think that I am lying.”

His head snapped up and he stared at Spock. Though his blue orbs still radiated fear and betrayal, there was something in Spock’s voice and that open expression that had him relaxing just a bit. A shuddering breath passed his lips before Jim found himself pressing his head into the Vulcan’s shoulder. A moment more passed before the blonde found himself in a solid hug. One hand slipped from his shoulder and began to run up and down his back in a soothing gesture.

A long and much needed moment passed. Jim took another breath and composed himself. He had been betrayed by his crew which placed a sinking feeling in his gut. However, he could trust Spock. He knew that without a shadow of a doubt. It was just everyone else who, more or less, broke his heart. 

“Okay. Okay. What else do we know? Anything about the person giving the marching orders?”

“There is talk, speculation of who it might be. Lieutenant Uhura was able to trace the point of origin that each crewmember had received an encrypted communication from.”

“And?” Jim asked, starting to feel a sense of dread and forbearing in his chest.

“A woman by the name of Lenore. Do you know her?”

The world stopped and Jim’s breath left his lungs. Eyes grew wide and his fingers gripped tightly into the fabric of Spock’s tunic. To say that he had been sent falling into the past was an understatement. His legs buckled and his weight was caught by Spock. Dimly, he was aware of the voice calling to him. There was a frantic note to it. After all of these years and Lenore was still at it. Sure, Jim had heard whispers of Kodos' daughter seeking revenge for her father but this, her playing with him, this was a whole new level. But it was so like Lenore.

“Jim.” The sound was sharp and snapped the captain out of his oncoming panic attack. “Who is Lenore?”

“Kodo’s daughter.”

“The governor of Tarsus IV.”

“Yes.” He choked out.

“Why is she attempted to kill you, Jim?”

“Because me, with like 8 other people were the only ones who were able to identify Kodos as being the man he called for the slaughter of 4000 citizens so that the other 4000 might live. I heard chatter that the other 8 were being targeted but I haven’t check in with them since then.”

“You were on Tarsus IV during the time of the fungi attack?”

“Yes.” Jim’s voice was hardly above a whisper as he brought his head up to look at Spock. “It’s something I don’t talk about. Bad memories.” He could see that his first officer wanted to press further but the state that Jim was in now, told him otherwise. So he worked to stand instead.

“Has there been any other information on her?”

“Simply that she sent the transmission from a trading outpost on a ‘backwater’ planet as Dr. McCoy would call it. We have reason to believe that that is her base of operations.”

“After all this time.” Jim muttered to himself, feeling Spock slowly ease him off the ground and to a more comfortable position.

“Please, Jim. Elaborate on the situation.” Spock still remained close, hands lightly pressing onto Jim. 

The blonde, after hard and difficult swallow, licked his lips, keeping his gaze distant but aware of the presence of his first officer. “As you can imagine, the details are a little fuzzy. I, along with eight others - some call us the Tarsus 9 - had invaded Kodos’ compound and figured out his secrets. Honestly, it was a desperate attempt to get food and shelter. But of course we were captured and tortured.” 

Spock tightened his hold on Jim.

“We were just kids, then. Nothing more. I was reaching my teen years. I was one of the few older ones. Everyone else, they were younger. Anyway, we discovered what Kodos had been doing but managed to escape before he killed us all. I’m not sure why he thought we would run our mouths. We were children, too frightened. The need to survive outweighed the thought of seeking revenge and justice. We just wanted to get off that planet. 

“However, I guess someone did talk, but from the shadows. Fingers were pointed and Kodos' name was tarnished for the sins he had committed. There could have been another way to survive the famine but he had taken the drastic route. Rumor also has it that he tried to keep Lenore away from all of the madness but in the end, she followed in her father’s footsteps. To avenge his name and punishment, I guess she slowly started to target the remaining nine. However, I’m not sure if she’s been playing with me or simply can’t get a grapple on how to kill me.” A mirthless laugh left his lips. “Regardless though, I guess she’s still out there and wanting to have me dead.”

Silence fell between the pair. Jim lost in memories, Spock, lost in thought.

“Jim.” Spock began. He was almost unsure of himself in what he wanted to say. “We have the proof we need. We can submit this claim to the proper authorities. I know you, being you, would want to do this yourself. However, given your current state, it is wise to give it over to the proper channels.”

“I agree.” Jim said, gruffly. “I don’t think I can deal with Lenore right now as well as the-.” His voice faltered. “The betrayal of my crew.” 

Spock’s hands squeezed against his form before drawing the blonde male close to him.

“We will figure this out, Jim. We will get through this. Do you understand?”

Jim was quiet. He took a shuddering breath. “Yes.”

“Very well. I will take care of informing Star Fleet. When I return-.” He stopped again. “Perhaps a game of chess will distract you from the pressing matters at hand.”

“Yeah.” The man responded, still gazing off into the distance. How had this become his life?

With a brief nod, Spock disengaged himself from the captain, leaving Jim to stew in his thoughts. Really, how had this become his life? Running from the same demons 10 years later. Maybe, just maybe though they could catch Lenore and this nightmare would be over and done with. Until then, Jim would be questioning every crew member, every act of kindness until he felt safe again.


End file.
